I grew up as a very “tom-boy” child. Surrounded by a family of farmers, hunters, and fishermen, it was almost to be expected. In my early adolescence I enjoyed wearing boy clothes, shooting doves with my BB gun, and going on fishing trips with my dad. It wasn’t until I reached the 7th grade that I first got in touch with my natural feminine side.
While I ditched the boy clothes, the one thing that sticked with me were the more “masculine interests” such as hunting, fishing, shooting, and as of recent, strength training. There seems to be a misconception of if you’re truly a feminine woman, you don’t enjoy these things. Rather, you only enjoy softer activities such as wearing flowery dresses, putting on makeup, looking enticing for your man, painting, and picking flowers. But what if I love both types of interests?
A capable you, a capable lover
My journey into embracing my feminine side was confusing, because the world paints a narrow picture on what femininity looks like. It focuses purely on the superficial traits (like wearing pink dresses) and leaves out that a feminine woman, while graceful and carefully submissive, can also be strong and capable. Far too often do women think that lifting a heavy weight will make them grow 10lbs of muscle overnight. Or that having an interest in hunting is for men only. I’m here to share that doing these activities don’t turn you into a man or make you masculine, but rather they uplift and improve upon your feminine essence.
No one wants to be around a damsel in distress, who isn’t capable of taking care of herself. The beauty of the strong feminine woman is that we can allow ourselves to surrender our guards, trust in our men and be delicate – while also maintaining our independent sense of self, strength and capabilities. There’s going to be situations that arise where you will be placed in a predicament that typically isn’t in your “feminine forte.” Let’s say your spouse is working long hours for your family, and the shed outside starts to have a roof leak. He wont be home for another 4 hours, but this leak is really starting to cause some damage. Something needs to be done quickly. Are you able to put your hair up, put on some jeans and boots, and get to work? Or is this too “manly” of a job?
You’re still a woman who places trust in her man as a leader and protector, who radiates warmth and comfort to those around her. But now, you’ve shown to be a team player that can be counted on when things get difficult. You’ve shown you can handle yourself on your own, not someone who he needs to save for every occasion that arises. That teamwork and trust will strengthen the bond and passion between you two, and light up your feminine essence even brighter.
Delicate power
There is something quite beautiful about harnessing strength and gentle grace simultaneously. The ability to lead and be led. Having a man that I trust completely as a leader and a protector is extremely fulfilling, as is having independence and the physical capabilities to take care of myself if needed. To know that yes, I am safe and secure with the man in my life, and I need not worry – and if something were to happen where I wasn’t around him for an extended period of time, I could take care of myself. This allows me to create the foundation for a nourishing home for my future kids. To be a strong, loving and capable mother when the time comes. All of this makes me feel safe no matter what life throws at me and inspired to be skillful and resourceful.
I want to be strong, not just for me, but for us – capable of doing the hard tasks when they arrive. If he’s working late, I want to fix the leaking shed and put on a pretty dress later that he likes. I want to go on the hunting trip and prepare the delicious family meal from the fresh meat. I want to pick pretty flowers to put in my hair and shoot my AR-15.
My fellow women who feel like they never quite fit into a box, don’t worry, because you’re a radiant beauty. Your more “masculine” interests add a tasteful fire and spice to you, growing strong yet delicate. You can do it all: shoot guns, pick flowers, lift heavy weights, own a business, be soft-spoken, be delicate, cook loving meals, and be the warmest mother or wife anyone could ever ask for. You will have the benefit of being able to save yourself, while still appreciating being saved. Being strong and feminine are not mutually exclusive, they complement each other to greater depths you’ve never even thought possible.