You’re here because you hit a wall – maybe it’s rock bottom, or maybe just a serious case of self loathing. Whatever it may be, your actions and mindset have allowed you to become the weakest, smallest, and most submissive version of yourself. You’re overweight, unconfident, can’t walk up a flight of stairs and have a resting heart rate of 85 BPM. You’re constantly anxious and can’t seem to get a grip on your emotions. Everything around you feels like it’s falling apart and you can’t even find the voice to scream.
I know what you’re going through because I was there too.
I pulled myself out and redefined what it meant to be me, and I’m here to share the tools and steps I took in order to do so.
Here is a step-by-step game plan on how to mould yourself into a capable, strong and confident human being – and leave the weak, slothful version of you in the past.
1) GET OUT Of Your Feelings
This is step 1, because this is what prevents almost every single person from starting to make lifestyle changes. You expect everything to feel good. And you refuse to do things that make you feel uncomfortable. This is why you haven’t left your house in weeks and you haven’t touched a weight in over 4 years.
When you START a new change, it feels uncomfortable. Going from “laying on the couch all day” to “walking 45 minutes each day” is challenging at first, and requires you to go out there despite how you’re feeling. It’s tough, yes! But this is what you need to get used to if you are to progress any further – the act of doing what you know must be done, despite your current feelings. You have to learn to be an observer of your emotions, instead of making decisions based on them.
2) Eliminate Excuses
Even with a control on your emotions, excuses will rise. You’ll find a “good reason” to skip a workout or stay home all day. Recognize when you’re brain is searching for familiarity – it’s looking for comfort, which isn’t what you always need. Like controlling feelings, controlling your excuses is equally important. With both of these under control, you will begin to strengthen your mindset.
3) Movement & Resistance
Now that we have your feelings out of the way, you need to move your body. I believe in keeping things very simple, and this is what everyone should start with: movement & resistance. Move your body and go on walks, runs, hikes, or anything else you desire. The main purpose is to simply move. Movement and walking lowers your risk of heart disease, and is incredibly efficient at burning fat. Do this DAILY.
You also need resistance. Pick up something heavy, whether it’s a barbell or a stone outside your house. Lift the same object every week, multiple times per week. When that gets easy, find a heavier object or add more weight, and continue. The beauty of progressive overload will make you not just physically stronger, but mentally accomplished as well. You will have stronger bones, stronger joints, and a stronger sense of confidence.
4) Be Outdoors (and take breaks from the city)
Humans live in a very unnatural world – it’s no wonder many people find themselves depressed. We’re surrounded by skyscrapers, electronics, bright lights, and polluted air. Ever notice how when you’re out of the city and in nature you just feel – happier? There’s a reason for that! We’re meant to be OUTSIDE.
Get the sun on you, take your shoes off and put your feet on the grass, and soak in the fresh air. If your line of work makes it hard for you to leave the city often, get outside regardless as much as you can – go to a grassy park in the city, or find a nearby trailhead. Even being outside in the city is tremendously better than being cooped up indoors in your house. The goal is the get you reconnected to the earth and nature, in whichever way you can.
5) Eat For FUEL, Not FUN
You can workout harder than anyone else and you can take 5000 ice baths – but if you’re not eating right you’re going to fall. Healthy nutrition is FUEL, and dictates how our hormones function, how we feel emotionally, and how our body performs. Eat whole, organic, natural foods. Meat, eggs, dairy, fruits, vegetables, rice, and potatoes are options that will keep you satiated and nourished. Frozen meals, candy, cookies, processed foods, and excessive sugar will make you slow, lethargic and weak if consumed often.
Eat like shit, and you will feel like shit. Eat good, and you will feel good. Simple.
6) Find Your People
You need to be around other like-minded, hard working human beings. Join a gym, a martial arts school, a running club – whatever you are interested in. The point is to be around others who are continuously working on themselves, so that energy radiates into you as well. You can help keep each other in check, and push each other to reach higher levels. A pack of wolves working together is stronger than one wolf trying to do everything on its own.
7) Grow Your Personal Relationships
Maybe you’ve been so defeated you haven’t hung out with any friends in months or years, or maybe you haven’t been intimate with your wife or husband since you’ve been down in the dumps. As hard as it may be, you need to force yourself to start being PRESENT with your loved ones. This is how you begin to not only feel happier, but improve your personal relationships as well.
And you NEED these types of relationships – a close circle of trusted humans. People that are in your corner no matter what. When you don’t foster growth in your personal relationships, you start to feel lonely and distant from your loved ones. This in turn weakens your bond with them AND your sense of belonging, and ultimately pushes you into isolation. Take the initiative and consciously choose to improve your friendships, family bonds, and romantic attraction.
8) Understand It Won’t Be Easy
Anything worthwhile is difficult. And even when you pull yourself up and start to improve your life – you’re going to have hard days, weeks, and months. Hardship doesn’t magically disappear when you make healthy lifestyle changes, but it does equip you with the foundation needed to handle hardship.
Think of it like this: Before you were using your hands to dig a hole in the ground. Now you have a shovel. The hole still remains to be dug, but now you are equipped with the tools to do so efficiently & smoothly. Again, it won’t be easy – but easy doesn’t create purpose & fulfillment.
The Road Ahead
These are basic, simple steps that anyone can follow and that will benefit any human being. These are not mutually exclusive, and you can add in other healthy habits to guide you in your path forward. Ultimately, this article serves to give you a blueprint to begin.
You will be faced with roadblocks, setbacks, and obstacles. Not every day will be perfect, and it doesn’t need to be. What matters is your constant dedication to the work every single day. Your ashes will turn into wings, and you will finally be able to use those wings to fly. I can’t do the work for you – the power lies within you.
I wish you all a beautiful, challenging, soul-fulfilling road ahead.
Keep growing, friends. It’s only the beginning. I can’t wait to see what you become.